Christmas Humour (part 1)

– Angels

Bert, aged 25.  ‘My wife’s an angel’.
Don, aged 57.  ‘Your lucky, mine is still alive’.

 

Little Drummer Boy

– Christmas Pizza

Good King Wenceslas phoned Domino’s for a pizza.
The sales girl asked him:-
‘Do you want your usual?  Deep pan, crisp and even?’

– The Hotel Is Full

Many years ago a Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg was stranded late one night at a fashionable resort – one that did not admit Jews. The desk clerk looked down at his book and said, “Sorry, no room. The hotel is full.”  The Jewish lady said, “But your sign says that you have vacancies.”

The desk clerk stammered and then said curtly, “You know that we do not admit Jews. Now if you will try the other side of town…” Mrs. Rosenberg stiffened noticeable and said, “I’ll have you know I converted to your religion.”

The desk clerk said, “Oh, yeah, let me give you a little test. How was Jesus born? Mrs. Rosenberg replied, “He was born to a virgin named Mary in a little town called Bethlehem.”

“Very good,” replied the hotel clerk. “Tell me more.” Mrs. Rosenberg replied, “He was born in a manger.” “That’s right,” said the hotel clerk. “And why was He born in a manger?”

Mrs. Rosenberg said loudly, “Because a jerk like you in the hotel wouldn’t give a Jewish lady a room for the night!”

Dec 22 Men shopping

In The Old Days

“In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it ‘Christmas’ and went to church; the Jews called it ‘Hanukkah’ and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say ‘Merry Christmas!’ or ‘Happy Hanukkah!’ or (to the atheists) ‘Look out for the wall!” ― Dave Barry, humorist

For more Christmas Humour.. check out Part 2

Question: Do you have any great family friendly Christmas jokes to share?

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