“Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.” — Romans 12:9–10 (NLT)
Few passages in Scripture are as challenging — or as practical — as these verses from Romans 12. They cut right to the heart of Christian living. Paul isn’t talking about grand gestures or public displays of spirituality. He’s talking about the daily, difficult work of loving people well — really loving them.
1. Don’t Pretend — Be Real
Paul begins with a sharp warning: “Don’t just pretend to love others.” The word “pretend” implies hypocrisy — going through the motions without the heart. It’s easy to smile, shake hands, and say, “I’ll pray for you,” while holding on to indifference or even resentment inside.
Real love goes deeper. It notices. It listens. It cares. It steps into another person’s story with sincerity and compassion. Pretending to love keeps relationships shallow; real love costs us something. It means being willing to forgive, to be inconvenienced, and to keep showing up even when it’s not easy.
2. Hate What Is Wrong
In the same breath, Paul calls us to “hate what is wrong.” Genuine love isn’t blind. It doesn’t excuse sin, tolerate abuse, or call evil “good.” To love others rightly, we must love truth and righteousness. Jesus perfectly modeled this — He loved sinners deeply, but He also called them to repentance and holiness.
Love without truth becomes sentimental and weak. Truth without love becomes harsh and cold. The two must walk together — a fierce hatred of evil paired with a tender heart for people.
3. Hold Tightly to What Is Good
In a world full of compromise and confusion, Paul urges us to “hold tightly” to what is good. Don’t let go of integrity. Don’t grow weary in doing good. The pull of culture, convenience, or comfort will always tempt us to loosen our grip, but real love clings to goodness — in our thoughts, our words, and our actions.
Loving others means choosing what is right even when it costs us popularity, reputation, or convenience. It means standing firm in God’s truth while extending grace.
4. Love with Genuine Affection
Paul adds another layer: “Love each other with genuine affection.” This phrase carries the warmth of family — a love that is personal, not distant. It’s the kind of love that says, “You matter to me.”
In the church, this means looking beyond surface differences — age, background, culture, or personality — and seeing each person as a brother or sister in Christ. Genuine affection grows when we spend time together, pray for each other, and share both joys and burdens.
5. Take Delight in Honoring Each Other
Finally, Paul says, “Take delight in honoring each other.” In other words, outdo one another in showing respect. Lift others up. Celebrate their victories. Speak well of them behind their backs.
This runs counter to our natural instincts. We like to be noticed and honored ourselves. But the Spirit-filled life finds joy in putting others first. Jesus said, “The greatest among you must be a servant” (Matthew 23:11).
When we delight in honoring others, jealousy fades. Comparison loses its grip. The community becomes healthier, stronger, and more Christlike.
Living It Out
To “really love” others isn’t a feeling — it’s a daily choice. It’s choosing to be genuine, to hate evil, to hold fast to goodness, to care deeply, and to honor freely.
Imagine what our churches, families, and friendships would look like if every believer lived this way. The love of Christ would be unmistakable. The gospel would shine through our actions louder than our words.
So today, let’s ask God to help us love for real — not with pretense, but with the power of His Spirit at work in us.
Prayer:
Lord, teach me to love sincerely. Help me to hate what is wrong, to hold tightly to what is good, and to honor others with joy. Fill my heart with genuine affection, just as You have loved me. Amen.
