We’ve all been there—those moments when we said too much, spoke too soon, or said the wrong thing entirely. And in the aftermath, we’ve seen relationships strained, opportunities lost, or our own integrity questioned.
The book of Proverbs pulls no punches when it says, “Those who control their tongue will have a long life; opening your mouth can ruin everything” (Proverbs 13:3). Strong words. But also true ones.
Words Have Consequences
Our words are like seeds. They grow—either into a garden of blessing or a field of thorns. With just a few words, we can:
- Encourage or discourage
- Inspire or inflame
- Heal or hurt
- Build up or tear down
It’s sobering to think how quickly one careless sentence can undo years of trust or derail a God-given opportunity. That’s why Solomon says that controlling our tongue leads to a long life—not just in years, but in peace, purpose, and relational health.
Why Is It So Hard?
Why do we blurt things out? Often it’s because:
- We want to be heard.
- We react out of emotion.
- We feel we must defend ourselves.
- We want to look wise or important.
But true wisdom often chooses silence. A wise person knows that not every thought needs to be spoken, not every argument needs a rebuttal, and not every opinion needs a platform.
James, the brother of Jesus, reminds us:
“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19).
The Fruit of a Controlled Tongue
When we learn to tame our tongue, here’s what we gain:
1. Healthier relationships
People trust and value those who speak with care and restraint.
2. Fewer regrets
We avoid those “I wish I hadn’t said that” moments that keep us up at night.
3. Greater influence
People listen more closely to those who speak less but say more.
4. God’s favor
Scripture shows again and again that those who use their words wisely are walking in step with the Spirit.
Practical Ways to Control Your Tongue
- Pause before you speak. Take a breath. Ask, “Is this true? Is it helpful? Is it necessary?”
- Pray for wisdom. Ask God to give you a guarded mouth and a discerning heart.
- Listen more than you talk. You’ll learn more—and say less that you’ll regret.
- Practice speaking life. Encourage. Bless. Speak truth in love.
- Repent quickly when you fail. We all mess up. But humility and apology go a long way.
Closing Thoughts
Your words matter. They echo longer than you think. Solomon’s warning still speaks today: “Opening your mouth can ruin everything.” But the flip side is just as powerful—“Those who control their tongue will have a long life.”
So let’s watch our mouths—not out of fear, but out of reverence for the God who gave us the gift of speech. May our words reflect His wisdom, His love, and His truth.
