There will be times in life when we will have conflict. This happens to all of us. God made all of us with different gifts and personalities. We will look at life and situations from different perspectives. We will come at life from different angles. Sometimes that will cause conflict. And frankly, some people are just difficult to deal with.
Dealing with conflicts and dealing with offences properly is one of the tougher things to do in life. Thankfully, Jesus gives a pattern for believers to deal with these situations. If you want to be a true follower of Jesus, then learn to deal with offences the ‘Jesus Way’!
Jesus ~ “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offence. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.” ~ Matthew 18:15-17 NLT
So based on what Jesus said, this is the ‘Jesus Way’ to deal with offences:
- This is the process you use when dealing with other believers. Dealing with non-believers will sometimes involve different strategies.
- Meet with the other believer alone and talk through the problem.
- Next, if the problem remains unresolved, take one or two with you as witnesses and judges so that the truth of the matter can be determined… “that every word may be established.”
- The integrity of witnesses and judges is important. Objective persons will either seek to bring the offender to repentance or even possibly to advise you that you were wrong, or possibly overly sensitive to offence.
- Always remember that the goal is not for you to get retribution or get justice, but to “win your brother back”, by reconciling the relationship.
- If the matter is still unresolved, take it to the church. When the offence is of such a nature that it requires this serious measure, we must remember that the goal is to “win the person” back to appropriate fellowship. Telling it to the church would involve taking the matter to spiritual leadership.
If you follow the “Jesus Way’ a huge percentage of conflicts and offences will be resolved. And isn’t that the goal? To have good relationships within the family of God! So, learn to do life the ‘Jesus Way’. Learn to deal with conflicts the way Jesus commands us to.
Jesus ~ “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” ~ John 13:35 NIV
Question: How do you deal with difficult people? How are you dealing with conflict?