Learning to Live in the Tension
One of the most challenging parts of following God is this:
What do you do when the counsel you receive doesn’t match what you sense the Holy Spirit is saying?
If you’ve walked with God for any length of time, you’ve likely faced this tension. You sought out a pastor, a leader, or a trusted friend. You listened carefully. But deep inside, you still felt God leading you in a different direction.
So what now?
Do you follow counsel?
Or do you follow what you believe God is saying?
This isn’t a small issue. It’s a defining one.
God Designed Both—Not Just One
Scripture clearly teaches two things:
- We are to be led by the Spirit
- We are to seek wise counsel
Romans 8:14
“For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.”
Proverbs 11:14
“There is safety in having many advisers.”
Both are true. Both matter.
But they don’t always feel like they’re working together.
The Mistake on Both Sides
When people struggle in this area, they usually drift to one extreme or the other.
1. Ignoring Counsel
Some say, “God told me,” and shut out every other voice.
That’s dangerous.
It can lead to:
- Pride
- Impulsiveness
- Poor decisions disguised as “faith”
God never intended you to walk alone.
2. Depending Too Much on Counsel
Others lean so heavily on leaders that they stop discerning for themselves.
That’s just as dangerous.
It can lead to:
- Fear of making mistakes
- Spiritual passivity
- Letting others make decisions God meant you to make
God didn’t give your pastor the Holy Spirit instead of you.
Even Good Counsel Can Miss
This is where we need to be honest.
Leaders are valuable—but they are not infallible.
They:
- Don’t know everything about your calling
- May be cautious when God is calling you to step out
- Can interpret things through their own experiences
And Scripture actually gives us an example of this tension.
Paul’s Journey to Jerusalem
In Acts 21, believers warned Paul not to go to Jerusalem because of what would happen to him.
Their concern was real. Their love was genuine.
But Paul went anyway—because he was convinced the Spirit was leading him.
And he was right.
This shows us something important:
Sincere counsel can still be incomplete—or even misapplied.
So How Do You Navigate This?
When you feel tension between counsel and conviction, don’t rush. This is where maturity is formed.
Here’s a steady path forward:
1. Anchor Yourself in Scripture
God will never lead you outside His Word.
If what you sense contradicts Scripture, it’s not the Spirit.
That’s your first and clearest filter.
2. Examine Your Heart Honestly
This is where you have to slow down and be real.
Ask yourself:
- Is this faith—or is this pride?
- Am I teachable—or defensive?
- Do I want God’s will—or my own?
Self-deception is easy. Honesty is essential.
3. Listen Carefully to Counsel—Don’t Dismiss It
Even if you don’t agree, don’t brush it off.
Ask:
- What are they seeing that I might be missing?
- Is there wisdom here I need to consider?
Sometimes counsel isn’t meant to stop you—but to refine you.
4. Look for Confirmation, Not Just Agreement
One voice may miss it—but what about several?
Does anyone else sense what you sense?
Is there any affirmation at all?
God often confirms direction through multiple channels.
5. Be Willing to Carry the Responsibility
At the end of the day, you must choose.
And if you step forward, you own that decision.
That’s part of spiritual maturity:
- Not blaming others
- Not hiding behind advice
- Taking responsibility before God
6. Move Forward in Humility
If you go a different direction than the counsel you received, don’t do it with a proud or independent spirit.
Stay humble. Stay teachable.
You don’t need to prove anyone wrong—just obey God faithfully.
The Real Balance
Here’s the tension you have to learn to live in:
- Value counsel deeply
- But follow the Spirit ultimately
Counsel is a gift—but it is not your guide.
The Holy Spirit is.
Final Thought
This tension isn’t a problem to eliminate—it’s a reality to mature through.
God uses it to:
- Sharpen your discernment
- Deepen your dependence on Him
- Grow your courage and humility at the same time
Over time, you’ll learn to recognize His voice more clearly.
And when those moments come—when counsel and conviction don’t fully align—you’ll be ready.
Not reckless.
Not passive.
But steady, grounded, and faithful.
Listening carefully to others… and ultimately obeying God.
